Three out of three ain't bad! All together, the women on that last page weigh roughly ten times what I do.

This is the end of the test so far, because I'm getting hungry and it's time to go home and make dinner. There will be more screening questions eventually, but since there aren't, you can tell all your friends that you've passed the test!

Now you know all about me ... but who are you?

Good question. You can check out my dossier. Here are some quotes from women who've dated me, seen me, met me, rejected me, or vaguely imagined me:

• No, I don't want to sleep with you.
• You're one in a million.
• I'm a lucky girl.
• Oh, oh, OH! Unh, OH! OOOOOH!
• I'm happily relationshipped.
• I'd ask if you wanted to find a hotel, but I don't know you.
• He's a perfect gentleman.
• If I hadn't just been through a run of jerks, I'd probably have slept with you.
• I only date doctors.
• You're a gem.
• One thing you can say about Steve is that he definitely loves women.
• I don't sleep with my friends.
• Fancy a shag?

One woman who visited this site told me that I left out some important information: my salary (see this), age (29 and holding), and favourite colour (blue). I was also told I need a picture of my living room, but I can do better. There's a picture of my condo here, courtesy of my real estate agent. If you want to see the interior, you'll just have to ask!

Describe your dream girl.

That's a tough one, because there's no single description for her. She might be a blue-eyed blonde, blue-eyed brunette, or a brunette with deep brown eyes. She could be just a bit shorter than me, but I can't rule someone out for being a lot shorter than me or for being taller than me. I like curvy women (but not curvy to the 300+ pound extent you saw on the last page). She has to be intelligent and she's probably a university graduate. She has a great sense of humour and she knows when to have fun and when to put her head down and work hard.

And now that I've said all that, I'll go and demonstrate that there isn't just one image of a beautiful woman in my eye. Some of the women I've fallen for, liked, gone out with, had a crush on, lusted after, or admired from afar over the years can be described as:

• A pretty blue-eyed blonde with a nice body and a great sense of humour and a habit of wearing low-cut tops
• A girl of average looks, with puppy dog eyes and dirty blonde hair, and a nice body
• A super-cute blue-eyed blonde, very short, with a slim body and a fun personality
• A super-cute blue-eyed blonde, very short, with a cuddly-looking body and a lively, outgoing personality
• A pretty blue-eyed brunette with a fairly tall, very slender body
• A cute blue-eyed blonde with a nice but unspectacular body who loves to flirt
• A beautiful blue-eyed brunette, just a bit shorter than I am, with a great sense of humour and an awesome body
• A pretty brunette with deep brown eyes
• A pretty blue-eyed blonde who's cuddly and a total sweetheart
• A tall, attractive, voluptuous brunette
• A short, extremely cute, voluptuous, cuddly brunette with gorgeous brown eyes
• A beautiful redhead with an addictive smile and a great sense of humour
• A short, cute brunette with a great smile and a very huggable body
• A short, pretty brunette with a sparkle in her eyes and a body that fits perfectly in my arms

So do I win a dream date with you, Steve?

Hey, let's see - drop me a line!

How many people have taken this quiz?

I can't say for sure; I don't have log files going back as long as this quiz has been around. From sometime in mid-July 1997 to the present, here are the results. Note also that many of them don't make sense; this may be due to people coming in partway through the quiz (due to search engines or bookmarks), caches/proxies, text-only viewers (since the counters I added are only loaded by viewers who request graphical images) etc., and shows that you can't trust hit counters.

people started the quiz.
people were female, and were male.
Of the females, people look like bodybuilders, and do not.
Out of the non-bodybuilders, people were severely obese, and are of more normal proportions.