OK, so you admit it. You have nothing better to do with your life than follow a maze of links through the Web. Well, I'm an agreeable chap, and I'm happy to oblige. Just keep in mind that when you get fired for spending all your time surfing, I'm not responsible. So sit back and take a tour of Web Pages That Suck! Or, in case you haven't been accosted on the street lately, check out the Virtual Panhandler. See the Oval Office Cam. Or generate a Mission Statement that's every bit as useful and meaningful as the one your company already has. You could always take a quiz to find out if you're Canadian. Find out what beer looks like under a microscope. Or slap a Spice Girl!

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual contest for the worst opening line for a novel. It was inspired by the infamous line which begins "It was a dark and stormy night ..."

The Ig Nobel Prize is given to a selection of people in a number of fields for having performed research or deeds which cannot, or should not, be reproduced.

If you want to be able to perform weddings yourself, you could become a minister in the Universal Life Church. Their Web server will ordain you pronto! Tell your friends! Tell your neighbours! You can even ordain your friends ... and then, of course, you'll have to ask them to forgive the sin of having made them ministers without their permission.

What else do ministers do? Well, they bury dead people. So why not check out where some dead people are buried?

Have you ever wondered why we don't use computers to translate stuff from one language to another? Wanna find out? Wander over here to translate this page into French, German, Italian, Spanish, or Portuguese. Or, for a really good laugh, try telling the translator that it's already one of those languages, and ask for an English translation (I particularly recommend the German to English one)!

Or try translating my home page into the following languages:

Or you can Jesusify my page! (Not recommended for the uptight religious types.)